quickie from my phone

Sometimes when I dream, I can't remember what's real. And that scares the shit out of me. My dreams are so real and I don't wake up, I don't know which side is the real one. My eyes fail me. I don't trust them, maybe this all is happening in my head. And time never passes and I'm stuck in hell. This was the Bad Trip I had last September at Om's house which I never recovered from almost. Till now, it haunts me. My brain activity.

I spoke to everyone about it, they said I needed medication, to see a doctor. To see a friend.
I honestly just think a week with Tanushi fixes everything. 

 

I went through a transformative period. I have been in a deep sleep these past two years, my thoughts have been fragments from an old dream that I had as a kid. Chanting mantras, eating cotton candy, driving my blade through my own heart. I no longer remember myself as I was. This one day, I was just a kid figuring out how to shoot on my phone and make films, now I helm music videos and brand films for brands I never heard about in my life. It's been a rat race to figure out myself. 

At Jugaad, I never received an opportunity to do that. Those six months I lost myself but I learnt so much. I am still learning but I'm stronger than I ever was. There were two particular incidents in this time. I forgot my own name. It threw my consciousness in the eternal library where all sins were written in stone and God said, your diligence is noted. Your thoughts on the matter don't matter but what matters is the deal of it all. You see how this looks, right? 

I'm working on more projects now. I'll never stop.