bombay cowboy

I'm struggling to find a reason to carry on. I remember Vyom's words: he wished to buy one can of Red Bull every day. It was an expensive drink and to earn that much he'd have to be good. Can I work and buy a can of Red Bull every day? I'm not aware of how the world of art fares above the world of Science and entry into the art world is the biggest (mis)step that could happen to me. There is no made it, or a paycheck waiting for me immediate after this. I'm confused whether I could actually do it, or even do it well at this point. I'm struggling to believe whether I should settle for the tech job or should I pursue my interest in films. There is no support, no hanger, no one to blame. I can't have it if I can't have it. I'm going to have to provide for myself while I pursue my interests. My parents want me in the home but I don't know what they'd say if I don't a 20LPA job and instead go out looking for internships on film sets. Maybe it is not the right time for me. Maybe I should just make that amateur film and submit to competitions. Film school is not written in my blood. Neither am I looking forward to it. How do I proceed without having something under my belt, this is the Western where the cowboy forgot his gun at home. So there's a vagrancy of duels, gunfights can be lost I need to use my wit and intuition to come up with a strong idea. The one I have at the
moment is interesting, but it needs good development to go literally anywhere. That requires research, I need to ask the questions. So I can find the answers.